Do a FULL OUT

Ever been awaken in the middle of night and restless? Am of the same state right now. I’ve awaken, can’t go back to sleep, so I watched a movie. A movie I thought is just another mainstream “motivational” sports related movie, but in so many ways, the movie got into me and here I am now writing about it and the spirit that gave me.

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The movie is based on a true story about a life of Gymnast, who is on it’s way to the peak of its athletic career and suddenly life gave her lemons and fell rock bottom. Her name by the way is Ariana Berlin. Her life story’s been dramatized in a movie Full Out: The Ariana Berlin Movie.

Here is the Trailer of the movie:

 

In connection to my previous post, here is another life story that inspires me to pick myself up from my downhill drive. I was once a competing athlete, a martial artist specifically, that’s why these kinds of life story gets me, pumps my spirit. Like Bethany Hamilton, Ariana Berlin stood up from her being wiped-out, conquered her waves, and was able to ride with waves she is ought to ride. I am hoping these life stories could also pump your spirits up as much as how it is pumping my spirit now.

And to make the long story short, and a little bit of spoiler, Ariana Berlin did conquer her obstacle and was able to move forward, pushed her limit and made a Full Out. Let us all together push ourselves to our limit, push ourselves to paddle on, and move forward to whatever delays we have in our lives right now. I am hoping that through this inspiration I got from the movie, this may not just be beneficial and encouraging for me, but to you too. That later on with my lifetime and your lifetime, you’d look back and remember these personas who were placed in the pedestal just to encourage, to remind us to never give up.

Before leaving everything from this blog post, here is good quote,

Look at what you want to change, gather a few people who believe in it like you do, and start moving forward. It’s important to remember that you don’t always need a destination. Sometimes, you just have to make forward motion. And you absolutely can.

Debby Ryan

 

 

 

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Surf Beyond the Waves

For those who are not familiar with the term “Wipeout” here is the meaning of the word as defined by Merriam Dictionary:

 

wipeout

play

noun  wipe·out \ˈwīp-ˌau̇t\

Definition of wipeout

  1. 1:  the act or an instance of wiping out :  complete or utter destruction

  2. 2:  a fall or crash caused usually by losing control

  3. 3:  a total or decisive defeat :  drubbing

 And here is a sample of the Surfing Wipe-outs for those who are Visual Learners:
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I am in the phase of my life that am already been totally wiped-out of the current waves am in. It may seem sound familiar “When life hits you hard”? I think you get the picture of it. Am already in the point in my life that I think I can no longer rise up from the state of being wiped-out, not that I’ve already given up totally but I’ve been going in circles  for almost a year already, trapped in a labyrinth. Writing this entry also took me so much courage. For almost 2 years now, I’ve been ruled out by my heart, and you know how deceiving the heart sometimes can be. As the common saying may speak. “When the emotions  are high, the brain goes dead.” I’ve been ruled out to the extent that I think am beyond repair.
Am writing this, not because I have a solution to whatever am in but because I wanted to let you know, whoever you are that I am of the same state as you are. In this very corner of the world, there’s someone who gets you, who knows what you feel and your pain. And I don’t know how and when, but what I’ve been trying to smack to my brain and heart is, I just need to PADDLE ON, keep paddling until you can ride with the waves. Paddle on until you have the stamina, paddle on until  you found the wave you are ought to ride. Paddle on until you can ride your waves. Paddle on until you’re able to conquer every waves you encounter. Paddle on like how a pro surfer paddles on and rides their waves.
Be like Bethany Hamilton, my favorite surfer, who rose up after her greatest wipeout in her life. May you be inspired by her life story as how she continuously inspires me, that there’s always a light in every end of the tunnel if you let it be; if you let it try to give light unto you. For those who are not familiar with her life story, you may watch the movie Soul Surfer.
 “I don’t need easy. I just need possible.”
Bethany Hamilton
Wherever we may be in the state of brokeness right now, it may seem impossible, it may seem endless– just always be reminded that there’s no problem that is impossible and you only make it impossible if you’d never make a step out of it. You can make the impossible, possible. Paddle on. Just paddle on.
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The Fictional Mr. Crick

Of all the certain things, seeing your life starting to get better, having a secured job, a fancy apartment, a love story who is starting to blossom but came to the point that the book has to end, and the sequence of the great life needs a period. How will you react?

I, being always wanting to be in control, can relate to not-so fictional Mr. Crick; felt so threatened that you’ll do anything– plead if you must just to correct things. Life is full of uncertainties and I’m not good in playing this game. I am already thinking of giving up and taking a leave of absence– leave the ties, family and friends, a secure job and responsibilities, and just disappear. This is my primary reaction to the uncertainty.

I wonder how would you respond to things that you are already certain of– a safe, certain and calculated life. And suddenly one Wednesday Morning, everything becomes uncertain, you’ve become unsure.

How will you respond when you are no longer of control? How will you respond to a life that now depends on an author who is having a writer’s block, narrating your story day-by-day, and trying to think of a plot on how’d you’ll meet your end.

Would you dive into life of an adventure? Or choose to live the life of auto-pilot?

“….Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”
Robert Frost

The Hundred-Foot Journey

“Every bite takes you home”

That was the quote that gave me reasons to shed a bucket-full of tears. For me, it was the climax of the movie: The Hundred-Foot Journey. This movie was just another favorite among my circle of friends, but this was the movie that was a “spot-on”, a direct-to-the-point, and as per the reviews, the movie was “an excellent characterization of the type of globalization our society has come to bear”

Others may have seen it differently, in another set of eyes, another set of points of view. And I have my different eye on the movie. Why is “Every bite takes you home” significant to me?

A: It was on the verge of success that Hassan (the main lead actor) almost lost his soul in “Innovation, innovation” and of getting what others thought of the “Greatest” accomplishment any french chef could ever dream of: the Mischelin Stars. He is passionate, and delighted with culinary and has been looking for a sense of purpose. Not so different to everyone else, not so different from you and me. We aim for a purpose of living, we ponder on our purpose of existence. Hassan has found his purpose, and the best part of it was that his dad and his family supported him all through out. He has a village, a family who pushes him to his best. And he gladly took the challenge and journey with full heart, going out from his comfort zone (which by the way, the training haute cuisine restaurant was just across his family’s established restaurant).

For those who were able to watched the movie (and for those who hasn’t watched it yet, THIS IS A SPOILER ALERT), just a question for us to ponder.

What makes a Hassan, different from his peers? from Marguerite?

For me, he has the culture, he has something to tell, he has a heart. I don’t say Marguerite doesn’t any of what I’ve mentioned, but Hassan can do all those innovative dishes because he dared to do what was expected. He didn’t entirely lost his Indian background of culinary, but instead he fused it with French “classical” cuisine. He never was scared to learn new things, and never was scared of the risk. He never was scared what other may have think, and he never forgot the role of family in every decisions he made. Remember, everyone else may come and go, but it is always the family who always got our back.

It is a useless life that is not consecrated to a great ideal. It is like a stone wasted on the field without becoming a part of any edifice.

– Jose Rizal

My only dream for everyone is  we pursue the greater pursuits, never give up on your ideals, don’t give up on your dreams. Failing is just a setback. Remember, even the great Thomas Edison failed a thousand times to perfect the light bulb.

But then again…

“Every dish is a memory..”

So what’s your story? what’s your dish?

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You Know Better

I’m employed to a firm for almost two months now, and last night I’ve talked and whining to a great friend about work. I don’t know if I’ve reached the burnt out level. I don’t know. Or maybe I was just tired and things came out of hand.

Then this morning, I read today’s devotion article of Bread of Life. The song reminded me and rebuked me. I want to share the song (which is on repeat now), maybe, just maybe, you’ve come to the burnt out level, or just tired. This might urge you, remind you that things has purposes and all we do is trust and offer the burden to the Dream Giver.

 

Better Than I

I thought I did what’s right
I thought I had the answers
I thought I chose the surest road
But that road brought me here

So I put up a fight
And told you how to help me
Now just when I have given up
The truth is coming clear

You know better than I
You know the way
I’ve let go the need to know why
For you know better than I

If this has been a test
I cannot see the reason
But maybe knowing I don’t know
Is part of getting through

I try to do what’s best
And faith has made it easy
To see the best thing I can do
Is put my trust in you

For You know better than I
You know the way
I’ve let go the need to know why
For you know better than I

I saw one cloud and thought it was a sky
I saw a bird and thought that I could follow
But it was you who taught that bird to fly
If I let you reach me will you teach me

For You know better than I
You know the way
I’ve let go the need to know why
I’ll take what answers you supply
You know better than I

To anyone who is battling the same battle I am facing, know that you’re not the only one. And Soldier On! Padayon!

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Mother to all the “Mother-less”

I don’t write mushy letters and messages. I stopped writing letters to my dearest mother since High School. I get used to not showing any affection except to (well, to me) give my time whenever a person of great importance asks a favor. But today, I choose to write something to ” The mother to all the Mother-less” .

You will never realize how important a person is until she leaves temporarily or permanently.

“People say you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. Truth is, you knew what you had, you just never thought you’d lose it.”

 

To the Mother of our village in Cebu BOL, everyone has always a story to tell how you become a mother to them. To me, you are the one who made me low my defenses, my fences and made me a person who trusts and talks. I am personally a very secretive person, there are things I don’t really tell people because I hate being judged and I’m scared it will be used against me in the future. You made an impression that I can trust you with my story; that you are willing to listen, even to the useless and small things. I don’t understand why I am so fond of you until now. You too, has a heart just like my mom. She, just like you, has a big heart with the people she is surrounded with, is very unselfish, full of love and has a grateful spirit. Just like her, I always admire you (though I don’t really show it, but I do!).  You are indeed my second mother! Thank you for all the lessons, and will take heart all of them.

You are off to another 365-days adventure. I am praying for a safe trip and know we, your village, will be with you in prayers. And your Shire will be waiting for you when you get back. We will miss you in the office, and also your mentos!  I love you mommy Madz!

 

P.S. I will Chat you whatever updates (if there is) hehe. Ciao! *hugs*

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I stumbled upon a Facebook post, and I think it is worth sharing and thought provoking.

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Let’s all give a hug to our parents, offer words of admiration and treat them well.

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The Tales of a Reviewee

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Whenever anyone goes through a hill, we all have this mindset.

Passing the Licensure Exam and getting the license to be an architect seems like mountains and hills we must climb and trek. It seems like impossible. The very thought of studying hiatus again for almost 2 years break from all the scholarly activities is tiring and stressful already. I don’t know with most of the students, but for us, architecture graduates, books are an enemy, and most of our scholarly/academic books are covered with thick dust and us preferring articles on website over academic books that are more pleasing to the eyes, full of color and has pictures. In some sense, studying is already draining.

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                   This picture pretty sums up with what I’m trying to imply.                            (c) real owner of the picture.

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Tales of a Reviewee?

First, we look the definition of review, whether or not we’ve understood really what “Review” means.

Free Dictionary definition of Review

Free Dictionary definition of Review

Reviewing is just “To examine with an eye to criticism or correction”. In our case, it was never been like that, our review became an intensive weekend class, the 5 years of education was reviewed in a rush, from 8 am to 5 pm. You can never tell if your 5 years were gone into waste or you were not paying attention in college because some subjects discussed was already foreign in your mind palace. And you’ve realized, you do have tons of reading to do.  And every week tons of reading materials are piling up. EVERY WEEK.

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Reading Materials to be read versus done

 

But I’m not here to rant about our system of “reviewing”, I’m just saying it was never easy, and will never be. A lesson I’ve learned when we were already in Manila and I can see a roommate of mine who was very relaxed and seems like not stressed of all the readings she has to do. “Reviewing” or whenever in the “battlefield” you can not  foretell your fate. All you just have to do is do your part, study with all of  might, and leave the rest to God. 

Whenever one think of reviewing or goes to an arduous studying, some would imagine of a reviewee with books piled and dusty, reading inside a very dark lit library. In my imagination, it was never that case, I imagine me being like John Nash in the film Beautiful Mind, trying and pressuring himself to publish a truly original study and please skip the timeline when he turned himself into a beautiful mind and fast forward to getting his “honor” from his fellow professors.

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I wish I can be as brilliant as John Nash.

I wish life will be as easy as ABC’s, reality bites, life has never been like that. But life promises you that “whatever you sow, you will reap whatever you sow”. 

What really happened to our 3-month long review? And how did I survive?

Again, I could not have made it without a Village who, first, prayed for all of us. Second, batchmates who became one team, one family and a village. We never left anyone alone, if one needs help in his subject, we all willingly help. If one needs ears to listen in her emotional outbursts, we automatically lend our time and ears. We MAY never have passed with a great mark without each other. We may never have learned the lessons we’ve learned without every single batchmates’ help and there presence. Each one of us were woven into a single tapestry, to make a story, to made an impact and to be part of a history. In the end, we were thankful for the Almighty who have orchestrated everything.

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Team Carluyan. Team USC. #LoveOfAFriendship

and for a new-found friend, Anj!! It’s just a setback, I’ve been in that exact feeling of disappointment. Always remember that God gives trials to those whom He knows can make that impossibility to a  possibility. 🙂 So go on, never be discouraged and fly!

 

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The “May I Always Build” Journey

“May the Architect be high-minded; not arrogant, but faithful; Just, and easy to deal with, without avarice; Not let his mind be occupied in receiving gifts, But let him preserve his good name with dignity… Marcus Vitruvius Pollio

We are full of ideals before the review started, we aspire to be the “starchitects”, well at least people are looking forward to. But being an architect is so much more. During the almost 3-month review journey before the licensure exam, we’ve (my fellow aspirants) hurdled countless of reading materials, 16gb worth of review materials from our friends both architects and fellow reviewee’s, and all the stressful nights burning the candles and trying to finish one reading material to another. It was a SERIOUS business. Some of us deactivated their Facebook, Twitter, Instagram accounts. And some stopped their night lives, stopped shopping and started saving.

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Our Mantra everyday when the review started. (c) to the real owner.

“Going the battlefield is not just giving up our comforts,

but giving up everything wholeheartedly and keeping

your focus on the battle ahead of you.”

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So what really is my take home lessons about the journey?

First, Trusting the Almighty everything and surrendering all the burdens to Him.

I’m the type of person who is almost the control freak, trusting is difficult. I always want to do it MY OWN WAY, but this journey it not really what I WANT, not I CAN control of, and not I AM FINE ALONE. Elementary trusting and surrendering to His plans is what I’ve learned. I can’t fully say that I’ve really learned to trust Him, but I started to unlearn, relearn and learn.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu
Chinese philosopher (604 BC – 531 BC)

Second, I CAN’T DO IT ALONE. It really is true that “It takes a village to raise up a child” but it’s truer that “It takes up the whole village and batch to be a TOP PERFORMING SCHOOL”. I can attest to that. Before I left Cebu for the One-month-long intensive review in Manila, I’ve been in doubt. Why? because I have to adjust to my roommates. Second, I have to learn to share and help my roommates in whatever and whichever help I can give. and Thirdly, I have to adjust in the place. I’ve been to Manila to and fro but never I’ve stayed longer. I’ve got to experience the “real” Manila and it was never that inspiring and fun without my classmates, friends and new found friends.

Our school got the “TOP PERFORMING SCHOOL” from the recent licensing exam result. I was in dismay when I didn’t get to rank but a good ole teacher told us when we visit our dear school after the result came out, “Ranking is just the individual performance, but ranking as the Top Performing School is a cumulitative performance and you have done great! You have given the school honor and we, your teachers are very proud of you”. I don’t know if it’s just a consuelo de bobo but yeah, that teacher was right! We were victorious because we’ve become a village, we have become a team. And, we do have hundreds if not thousands who were praying for all of us. We could  not have made it without the prayers of our fellow villagers.

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Some of the “TEAM” when we went to our School after the result came out. #LoveOfAFriendship

Thirdly, I have realized that Architecture and being an architect is not just fulfilling my dreams, our dreams but it’s a responsibility we have to fulfill. Our journey does not end when we passed the exam, but our real journey begins now, that we are finally architects. We have a lot to fix regarding the norms of the practice here in the Philippines, and we still have a country to fix and lift-up. I can still remember one of my teachers in the review telling us that “we should all start giving back to our country”. It’s not “What my country can give me?” but it’s “What can I give to my country?”

To my fellow passers, MAY WE ALWAYS BUILD!

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Lessons From A Lost Phone

I recently lost my smartphone. No, it was not lost, it was pick pocketed in a public utility jeepney. There’s a new mudos here in Cebu where negative elements distract the victims by sticking a gum in their hair or shirts. Yes, aside from pick pocketing my phone, they also stick the gum in my hair. What a hassle!! Anyways…..

Lessons?

First, I need to let go. I have nothing to do now, it’s already gone. Never cry over spilled milk, it won’t solve the problem.

“I suppose in the end, the whole of life becomes an act of letting go, but what always hurts me most is not taking a moment to say goodbye.” Life of Pi

Second, even how you treasure “precious” things, it would eventually disintegrate. Don’t let material things rule your life.

Third, it is not helpful to take the blame game. And I’m happy my mom never took the bad news too seriously and reminded me that it’s just an item. A material thing.

Fourth, going back to basic (laptop and books) is not that bad after all. You got to enjoy things you never have given importance to.

Lastly, It’ great to have a “village” who never let material things rule their lives, and who are not consumerism driven. You got to have a wiser and smarter mindset and advice.

I do feel so awful now, but I know this will pass. For now, let me mourn over the lost of my buddy.

P.S.
Mom, I’m so sorry I failed to protect my buddy.

Ate pat, ate mel and matt, thank you so much for all the concerns and the wise advises and for mourning with me

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The Year Ender

Everyone is busy doing crazy stuff, reflecting on the year that had just passed so fast, burning all the holiday fats, preparing for the New Year‘s Eve dinner and getting ready for another resolutions that are meant to be broken in the mid-year. It has been like that year, after year, after year. It is getting absurd.

For my year-ender, I chose to sit down and make a love gesture to my dearest cousin, sleep (a lot of it!), and most of all spend time with my family, which I neglected the most.

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My Siblings, minus the eldest at Margie’s Robinson Butuan branch.

I can’t say that I had the perfect year, but I am thankful of my village, who opened the gates to a wanderer and welcomed me with open arms. My year was all just full of adventures and lessons which I am taking with me for the coming year.

As we end this year, let us not forget to spend time with our families. And forget the grudges and give love.

Happy New Year everyone! Cheers!

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